Agreeing With the Group and Consensus

In the circles I run with, people value independent thought. It’s considered a sign of intelligence when you can consider things from every angle and form your own beliefs. And I agree that it is.

However, consensus beliefs (that is, beliefs commonly held by a large group of people) remain quite common, and many people hold to them, by definition. So why do we have them?

The simplest explanation is that they have merit. If a lot of people individually come to hold the same beliefs and ideas, there’s a good chance there’s some truth to them. As such, I think any commonly agreed upon ideas are worth examining. This doesn’t mean you should blindly follow them, of course, but you should consider there might be a reason for the ideas to be so popular.

Of course, there’s also the possibility the ideas caught on somehow, and once they became popular, people used my reasoning above to think that if lots of people think in a particular way, it must be the right way. This only perpetuates itself unless people know how to think for themselves.

Of course, it’s also possible to have more than one set of consensus beliefs, held by more than one group of people. The example that comes to mind most readily is politics, in which we have a conservative consensus and a liberal consensus. There’s also a growing libertarian consensus in the U.S. This is still an oversimplification, but it illustrates my point of multiple groups of consensus.

So, why buy into it? Because it makes sense to you. To take an example, of all the political views I mentioned above, I most identify with the ideas of liberals. The idea that people should all have a minimum standard of living makes sense to me. But, that doesn’t mean I agree with liberals on everything. For instance, I think gun control laws should be minimal. The right to own weaponry is a Constitutionally protected right, and shouldn’t be given up. While I can see some laws limiting weaponry to be reasonable, they all need to be carefully considered and weighed against the Constitution, as well as be narrow in scope to not have unintended consequences later on.

I use this example to show that you can buy into the general idea a group espouses while still holding your own opinions. Gun control isn’t the only area I disagree with liberals on, but it’s a well known area and easy to explain quickly. I still like the general philosophy of liberals, and I picked it up because it was out there and well known because a lot of people agree with it and can explain it well. But then, I examined it more, and brought in my own experiences to refine it into a worldview that makes more sense to me.

My point in this is to show that generally agreeing with a group consensus isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes, there is merit to consensus beliefs. That merit is how many become popular in the first place. The problem is only when you accept consensus beliefs blindly, without examination, simply because it’s popular. I have no problem with anyone who disagrees with me, so long as they disagree intelligently and not just because the group says it has to be one way. I’m certainly not saying that liberal ideas are the only ones that make sense, but it’s all in how you think about it and the process you use to come to your beliefs and ideas. I only used liberals as an example since that’s generally where I fall on the political spectrum.

So, if you commonly treat what’s popular, or common beliefs, as bad solely because it is common, I’d urge you to reconsider. Sometimes, there’s value to be found in beliefs that are held by a large group of people. Don’t take them all at face value though, just consider them and think about the merits they may have. Sometimes, the crowd really is there to see something good. Just don’t follow the crowd without thinking first.

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The Little Things You Do Matter

People don’t understand the impact they have on other people. I know this, because people often don’t realize the impacts they’ve had on me. When I explain it to them, they’re often surprised, because they just don’t see it. That might just be because I’m an introvert and don’t always express things the way people expect, but I suspect it’s the same for most people, and they just don’t understand how much they influence people.

Here are some things people have done that have had a big impact on me, even though they are small things:

-I’ve been asked me why I was angry all the time, and what I was going to accomplish by it. This person was concerned about me and how I dealt with things, and wanted me to be able to express what I wanted productively. Thinking about it, I realized I would accomplish nothing by lashing out the way I used to, and it would be more constructive to do something about the reason I was angry instead of just yelling.

-Invited me out to a gathering of people and engaging me. I’m an introverted person, and I don’t talk much unless I have something to say. By talking to me and pulling me into the conversation with others present, they pulled me into the group and included me, making me realize how much I valued relationships with other people. Since then, I’ve realized it’s good to put in a lot of effort to make good friends and spend time with them, and do so often.

-Told me all the good things that they saw in me. Let’s just say it was a rough time in my life, and hearing that gave me a much needed confidence boost to realize I could push on and make things better.

-Invited me into the dorm community at college. Three people in particular went out of their way to make me feel included in the things that were going on in both our dorm and around campus at large. That made me feel like it was safe to put myself out there and get to know people, which helped me make a lot more friends and get to know people better. Not only that, but it makes social situations easier for me to this day. It probably helped that a lot of us were huge geeks anyway.

-I’ve thought about doing a few things just because it’s assumed you should by society at large. Then I thought about what a couple close friends would think of it and realized it would be really stupid to follow through. Just by being friends with me and accepting of me, they stopped me from doing some stupid things.

So yeah, those are just some examples. They’re all small things, and a lot of people do these kinds of things without even really thinking about it. But they really do matter. Sometimes, if one person doesn’t do it, someone else will. Other times, it really takes someone close to a person to get the message across, and just being close to that person is significant all on it’s own. In any case, don’t underestimate how you’ve effected others in your life. You’ve probably done more than you know, unless you’re extremely aware of how people react to you. So if you’re wondering what you’ve done that’s worthwhile, just think of the little things. They usually matter more than you realize.

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