Archive for the ‘Social Norms’ Category

Protect Marriage in Maine

Oct 26th, 09 / 0 Comments

By allowing gays and lesbians to marry just like we allow any two other consenting adults to marry. Marriage, as defined in the law, is a secular institution and contract between two people who wish to share their lives with each other, and provides a slew of legal benefits you simply can’t easily get any other way. Some, such as tax benefits, can’t be received in any other manner. So, if we deny gays and lesbians the right to marry, we deny them the right to a beneficial contract that can enhance their lives in a way no other substitute contract can.

Most opponents of gay marriage laws present their case as protecting their religious freedom and religious institution of marriage. I have some bad news for these people. The government can not and does not regulate the religious institution of marriage, only the secular contract. Gays and lesbians already get married religiously, and there are plenty of religions perfectly happy to perform the ceremony for them. Besides which, while you have the freedom to practice your religion as you see fit (so long as you bring no harm to another), other people have this same religious freedom, including the freedom to allow gays to marry in their services. Furthermore, Maine’s gay marriage law doesn’t force churches to perform marriage ceremonies that go against their religious beliefs. A gay couple will instead simply find a church who supports their marriage, or they’ll be married by a justice of the peace.  No infringement of religious freedom is required to provide equal rights to gay couples.

So, to those who would deny the right to marry to gay couples, stop pretending you’re protecting marriage. You aren’t, you’re simply trying to enforce your view of religion on everyone else and deny a group their civil rights. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing this argument that the religious institution of marriage will fail if gays are allowed to marry, and I’m tired of hearing you treat religious marriage and secular marriage as the same thing, because they aren’t. They’re just currently tied a little too closely together in the law.

Stop trying to deny gay and lesbian couples their civil rights. Don’t force your religious beliefs onto others. Instead, learn to live peacefully with your neighbors, and accept them for who they are. We’ll all be better off if we can manage this. So vote no on question 1, and show the state of Maine and the United States that we support marriage, equality, and civil rights by allowing gays to marry.

Note: For reference, this is question 1 in Maine on November 3rd: “Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?”


Check out some videos on gay marriage in Maine:

Rachel Maddow
A cool WoW machinima piece on gay marriage in Maine
People’s reactions to letting gays and lesbians marry

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Politics, Social Justice, Social Norms

Job Market Dishonesty

Apr 7th, 09 / 2 Comments

Perhaps I shouldn’t be writing this as I’m still looking for a job. I feel a need to do so though. I will add one caveat: I know this doesn’t apply to absolutely every job-seeker or employer, but it covers a large number of them, and enough so I don’t feel it’s likely any job-seeker can get away from it.

Is it just me, or does the job market reek of dishonesty and shadiness? Think about it for a minute. Everyone acts “professional” for job interviews, even though it’s nothing like the real person. You kill your personality for the sake of “professionalism.” Is this really what employers want and need? I doubt it, yet it’s what they promote by looking for people who look “professional.”

What they need are people who know how to do the job. You know, actual professionals, not people who know how to play the part. This means they should look for qualifications, not appearances. I know this is likely to never happen in our world, but I suppose I can dream. For now, I obviously play the game too, but it really feels wrong to me, like I’m lying to get the job. There’s a part of me always saying in the back of my mind that this isn’t who I am. Perhaps my problem is that I can’t get rid of that voice, but honestly, I wouldn’t want to. Then I might lose myself.

Of course, employers are also guilty of lying in the ways everyone is socially conditioned to accept. They’re masters of the art of not giving a straight answer. Want that interview? Sure, they’ll call and let you know. By which they mean they won’t call, and you should call them again to show interest and initiative. Looking for people to show initiative is all well and good, but don’t lie about your intent guys. If you want people to call you, don’t tell them you’re going to call them. I know this isn’t how it works, but it always feels wrong to call back when they said they’d call you, like you’re breaking a request they made. This is exactly what they expect you to do though. Why hire someone who won’t give you the time to make the decisions you need to make though? Obviously, the request was made for a reason.

Then, they also want to keep you in the dark about salaries, wages, and benefits. This creates another dance of dishonesty, usually giving the employer the power in this case. Since you don’t know what they pay everyone else, you have to guess. Guess too low, you get a job that pays you less than you’re worth. Guess too high, they’ll hire someone else. Guess in the right range, and they might try to talk you down before hiring you. And research doesn’t always give you reliable results about what you should be earning either, so even if you’re prepared it’s still a guessing game. In any case, without honesty, there’s a need to pad what you think you should be earning with just the right extra so you can be talked down to what you want to earn. Is this really the way we want to do business? Shouldn’t we just lay out our expectations out front so everyone knows what we get out of the deal? Wouldn’t this be the sane way to do business? Still, I at least understand this particular layer of dishonesty. It’s all about getting the most money out of the deal.

I honestly don’t expect I’ll ever have my own business involving lots of employees. I don’t like to be in charge of other people or to delegate responsibility, so anything I do decide to start, I’ll likely try to do as a one man show, possibly with a friend or two as a partner. Still, in the event I ever do end up in charge of a business with lots of employees, I know I’ll have a very different hiring process than is the norm.

I just get irritated by the social expectations being so ingrained in everyone. Just be honest. Seriously. Say what you want and expect. Be clear. Don’t tell us you’ll do things that you won’t do. How are we supposed to trust you if that’s your hiring strategy? For once, just run an honest business at every level, both internally and externally. I know I’ve likely just scratched the surface, but frankly, these are the most irritating layers of dishonesty that are tied up in our society’s standard hiring and job-seeking practices.

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Jobs, Social Norms