People don’t understand the impact they have on other people. I know this, because people often don’t realize the impacts they’ve had on me. When I explain it to them, they’re often surprised, because they just don’t see it. That might just be because I’m an introvert and don’t always express things the way people expect, but I suspect it’s the same for most people, and they just don’t understand how much they influence people.
Here are some things people have done that have had a big impact on me, even though they are small things:
-I’ve been asked me why I was angry all the time, and what I was going to accomplish by it. This person was concerned about me and how I dealt with things, and wanted me to be able to express what I wanted productively. Thinking about it, I realized I would accomplish nothing by lashing out the way I used to, and it would be more constructive to do something about the reason I was angry instead of just yelling.
-Invited me out to a gathering of people and engaging me. I’m an introverted person, and I don’t talk much unless I have something to say. By talking to me and pulling me into the conversation with others present, they pulled me into the group and included me, making me realize how much I valued relationships with other people. Since then, I’ve realized it’s good to put in a lot of effort to make good friends and spend time with them, and do so often.
-Told me all the good things that they saw in me. Let’s just say it was a rough time in my life, and hearing that gave me a much needed confidence boost to realize I could push on and make things better.
-Invited me into the dorm community at college. Three people in particular went out of their way to make me feel included in the things that were going on in both our dorm and around campus at large. That made me feel like it was safe to put myself out there and get to know people, which helped me make a lot more friends and get to know people better. Not only that, but it makes social situations easier for me to this day. It probably helped that a lot of us were huge geeks anyway.
-I’ve thought about doing a few things just because it’s assumed you should by society at large. Then I thought about what a couple close friends would think of it and realized it would be really stupid to follow through. Just by being friends with me and accepting of me, they stopped me from doing some stupid things.
So yeah, those are just some examples. They’re all small things, and a lot of people do these kinds of things without even really thinking about it. But they really do matter. Sometimes, if one person doesn’t do it, someone else will. Other times, it really takes someone close to a person to get the message across, and just being close to that person is significant all on it’s own. In any case, don’t underestimate how you’ve effected others in your life. You’ve probably done more than you know, unless you’re extremely aware of how people react to you. So if you’re wondering what you’ve done that’s worthwhile, just think of the little things. They usually matter more than you realize.
Related Posts:
- On Dating Advice and Stereotypes
- The Smart Kid
- Infinity’s Edge
- How I Learned to Fall Asleep
- Everyone Has a Story
